Working all day today back at my normal job. Surrounded by friends. Thank god.
Working on Britain’s Got Talent for the next three days, while they are using our theatre to hold the auditions.
I’ve been put on the cloakroom… Which isn’t being used.
I’m not joking, I sat there from 2pm till 11pm. I did NOTHING!!
Me and my friend just sat and talked all day. About everything. We had fun. I enjoyed it.
Of course he flooded into my thoughts at times, but I had deleted everything so I couldn’t be tempted to text or call, or look at a picture of him.
Just a note: we were never Facebook friends. That was his decision, he didn’t want to be. I had a problem with that at first, but he said it has ruined relationships with him before. Jealousy etc. I got use to it, I’m cool with it now. I didn’t need FB to know what was going on in his life, I know anyway, we spoke every 5 minutes.
The day was LONG but it went fast. I was comfortable surrounded by my mates all day. One of my good friends who works with me lives near me just outside of London… So I even got company home on the train. As much as I complain that I don’t want to work FoH, the people are what make it. Surround yourself with brilliant people and it doesn’t matter what you are doing, you’ll be happy and enjoy yourself. Maybe it’s WHERE I do FoH that bothers me. My theatre is the only place I want to do it, it’s like no other, such a special place.
I get home late. I walk from the train station instead of getting a taxi from the rank of mum and dad! I can’t wait to get to bed. I’m still constantly thinking of him, it’s a constant ache that no pill will cure, but I take comfort in the day I’ve had. That I got through it, without letting the thought of him and S together, on a beach or in my home come into my head too much. It’s baby steps. But I must try and accept that’s what’s going to happen.
I put on some night time meditation to help quiet my mind, and eventually drift off to sleep.