January 31st 2017 – Time to focus on me (as much as I can!).

Feeling so tired
Waking up early
Listen to more tedtalks
Download more podcast – law of attraction ones.
Off to JB two show day dressing. A friend of mine who is in the show is back from bring off sick, so I’m dressing him today. We have such a laugh. We head for food inbetween and I tell him everything. Like everyone else, he says I’m better off without him. I don’t deserve to be treated like this etc etc. I’m actually bored of talking about it now. He tells me that everyone in the cast now knows we have split up, and were told not to ask after G. I’m cool with that, it means I can just get on with learning the tracks and working hard. I’m not there to gossip or bad mouth anyone to friends. Although I easily could.
Strangely I feel my mind set has changed… I’m feeling stronger. I think it’s clicked that nothing is going to change with G. He’s going on the holiday, nothing will change it. Why do I need to see or talk to him before? There’s no reason to it. We will go round in circles.
Plus why should I meet up with him so he can tie up his loose ends then go on a lovely holiday. I’m going to become stronger, and better. This will make be an all round better human being, but he will never grow from this. It will crumble around him and by that time I’ll be so far gone I won’t want to know.
It’s time to focus on me, the good things in my life, the good things I am receiving now.

I head out with some of the cast and crew for one of the dressers birthdays. It was nice to go out and feel social for once, instead of just heading home and feeling knackered. It was lovely to chat to people about other things.

I head home after one drink. Don’t want to push it!

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