I woke up so early, and I know exactly why.
At some point today the love of my life is getting on a plane to meet his new boyfriend in Mexico. That’s the most crushing feeling I’ve ever had. It’s been one month since he broke up with me. He moved straight on, and hasn’t even give us a chance.
I don’t know how I’m going to get through the day, or week!
How do I shut my brain off to the fact that every day for a week he is having a lovely time, an adventure (like we use to do!) with someone else. Someone who over lapped my time with him. Someone who has stolen him from me, I didn’t want to give him up.
I lie in bed just thinking about it.
This is going to be a hard week. I MUST focus my mind, and keep positive. Focus on my life, where it’s heading, and what I’m going to achieve. I started an Instagram account to go along with this blog (@Daily_loa ) and I start to go through posts. It’s full of inspirational quotes about life, love, relationships. I knew this would come in handy, even if it’s just for me. I follow accounts like The Secret and Laws of Attraction, and scroll down the live feed and read all the posts. It really lifts me, motivates me and inspires me. It reminds me that everything, eventually, will be ok. I will be ok. But I need to look after ME.
From now on I’m looking after number one. Me myself and I. Just like Beyoncè.
I need to learn to love myself, feel comfortable and happy being alone and independent. I need to set goals in my sights, things that I want in life, that make me happy. I need to think positively and manifest my thoughts into the things I want. I can’t drive myself crazy, torturing myself about someone who doesn’t want me anymore. He’s not in my life now, I need to accept this and carry on. Don’t waste time even thinking about anyone who doesn’t want you in their life, who treats you so cruelly, you’ve dodged a bullet. Things happen for a reason.
Receive the message, but don’t block the blessing!
This is a new start.
I get up and get going. I have a big breakfast, and then set off for work.
I express my struggle to a few friends over text, they agree it’s shit but that I must focus on me. Things I have already decided to do on my own. I’m listening to myself, and following my instincts.
Of course… This doesn’t hold up for the whole day… I slip and think of him. Wondering if he’s on the plane yet, or probably even there already. I wonder what he thinks I’m feeling, and how he feels about having no contact with me. But again, I tell myself STOP.
Back to positive thoughts, and aiming at my goals.
Busy day learning a new track on my dressing job. That kept me distracted. And when I could I went back to my Instagram account. Just one post can lift me, give me something to think about and carry with me for a hour or so.
Try it. It helps. Give me a follow.
I’ll be heading to bed and posting my favourite from the day.
Positive post for a positive sleep.