February 6th 2017 -“Signs of a great night”

Today was an utter write off!!!
I had so many plans to get stuff done. I haven’t left my bed all day. And I was sick! (I’m never sick from a hangover!)
I can’t remember getting home at all. Or what happened at the end of the night. I have random photos on my phone. Signs of a great night. But I’m paying for it now.

My head is so clouded that I haven’t had time to think of G really. I can only concentrate on not throwing up, and trying to feel better. I suppose that’s a silver lining really.

This has been the most boring entry so far I think. I’m still feeling all the same feelings, even I’m getting bored writing about it.

I downloaded a “dating app” today. Just to see who is out there, and around. Everyone is so YOUNG! Makes me feel like a loser. It also made me feel abit dirty. I don’t think I’m ready for this. It’s too soon. Plus I really don’t like meeting people online. It’s all fake.
It’s just more social media. Pick and choose how you look, with the right lighting and filters. I’m also not one to just go and have a shag with a random. G is, he’s always said it. But for me, I like to have a connection with people. Know them abit. Have a lead up of flirting. But not on an app. Over text. It’s not the same.

I want to meet someone through friends, or work. Meet someone in person. Not months of texting before you actually meet the person. I want to get to know the person face to face. Maybe this is why I’m so cut up about G. He has gone and built a connection with someone else, while still being with me. It’s not just some random shag.

Anyway, I delete the app. It’s not for me. Not for now.


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