February 13th 2017 – The day before the day I’m dreading!

Hangover free!
I’m extremely surprised by this, but I’m not complaining.
I get up, make a filling breakfast and then settle down to chill out.

I’m keeping myself busy in the mornings by writing in my dairy, and posting on this blog. I enjoy it. It gives me something to focus on, and distracts me. I feel like I have a bit of a purpose, I’m doing something for me. No one else.
I am thinking forward to tomorrow, Valentine’s Day. I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day for 7 years, this is going to be weird. Part of me wants to hear from him, but I then remember that his attention will be on S. His beautifully written, well articulated card will be sent to S. Not me. I wish I could be more articulate for him, I get embarrassed, stupid I know, but it doesn’t come naturally for me. That doesn’t mean I don’t think and feel it.

I decide to make a little group chat with a few of my friends at work and ask if they would like to go for a group meal in town tomorrow evening, I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend it alone. Every single (no pun intended) one said yes, so we have a friends Valentine plan, which I’m looking forward to.

I get ready and leave for the gym. I’ve noticed that every day when I get on the train into London, I fall asleep. I can’t help it. I must be so exhausted. I usually get 9-10 hours sleep (possibly too much!) but since the break up, I haven’t gone past 6ish hours. I need to sort this out, it’s not healthy, and I look like shit!
Plus it doesn’t help just before a workout.

After I head to town and meet my friend. We are going to see The Glass Menagerie in the west end tonight, for free. So we have a meal to catch up before. He makes me laugh so much. I lived with him throughout drama school and we’ve been through a hell of a lot together. We know how to support each other and keep each other up beat.
Weirdly we have both been looking in to training/career paths in counselling, life coaching and motivating people. We are very alike in the way we want to help people, give back. He’s been feeling lost about whether acting is for him, but I help to motivate him and think positively about the business and his career. He is still extremely young and so talented, something is coming his way, I just know it.
We both really enjoyed The Glass Menagerie! I didn’t know the play before hand which was quite nice to see a classic which was new to me. I thought the acting was top notch. It’s inspired me more, and motivated me to work hard and believe that more acting jobs are on the way. I want that… I want to be in a show in town again, or a great play on tour. I’m at a place in my life and career when I know what I want, im not going to just take any audition or job that may come my way. It has to be something I want to do, that will help further my career. I’m set in that, I feel strong and determined.

I just wish I felt the same about my love life!


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